A lie to unlearn

We’ve been sold a lie that we believe so deeply we can barely consider it can’t be true: Once you get there, you’ll be happy. There, where the money is steady, the job is revered, the relationships are exciting and sexy. The thing that makes this lie so harmful is not that we shouldn’t have these things, but the false hope it gives us that there is somewhere to “arrive” and be safe and happy. Once we achieve enough, we can enjoy it. Yet here’s the truth—there is a moving target, and chasing it with the belief it will save you will leave you exhausted, bitter, and empty, even when you “arrive.”

This type of thinking is like playing a game of darts, believing that you will truly only be happy if you can hit the bullseye, and then continuing to hit it every time. There is nothing wrong with darts; in fact, it can be fun. There is nothing wrong with winning at darts or anything else. It is the belief in what winning will do that is problematic.

The real joy isn’t in getting there, because the only real there you are getting is the end of your life. It’s in being here—awake to your own life, willing to grow, open to meaning in the mess. From here, we can play the game with the hopes of winning, yet not attaching our worth to it. Happiness isn’t something you earn later. It’s something you choose now, in the middle of the undone, the uncertain, the not-quite-enough.

What if you stopped needing the destination to save you, so the journey itself could become your protection?