It doesn’t matter if you feel like doing it or not. What matters is if you want the results that come from doing it or not.

And remember, the most critical result you can create is the self-esteem that comes from trusting yourself to do what you are committed to.

Feelings are fleeting, commitment connects us to the steady and continuous.

Where is it time to act from your commitment rather than your feelings?

When we value our values and lead with them, we find the correct people in our lives.

Some people will try to come closer to you because of how they perceive your accomplishments, role, or status, yet they won't hold the same values as you, so the connection might not stick. This is not only okay, but it is optimal. The people who share your values will be the ones with whom connection thrives naturally. The right people aren't attracted to your carefully curated image, but to your integrity and the alignment between what you say and how you live. Many people will only be able to say things and not live them. Valuing our values means we live them. We live them imperfectly, yet we recommit and do our best to clean up messes when we need to.

When we stop compromising our values to fit in or be liked, we naturally attract people who resonate with who we truly are, with whom we can be ourselves, and with whom we can co-create. Unaligned people fall away when we value our values. While this can feel lonely at first, it's actually the path to real connection. Our people can’t sense us out while we are pretending to be someone else.

What would shift in your relationships if you did the courageous work of valuing your values?

There's a difference between taking responsibility and taking things personally. We can take responsibility for the quality of our relationships, for our environments, for how we show up in the world, without drowning in shame and blame. These are two entirely different things.

Taking responsibility means acknowledging our impact and our power to create change, as well as when we’ve created impacts that are unaligned with what we value. It means we recognize where we can improve and choose to evolve, all while showing compassion for ourselves and our human imperfections. Taking things personally means we make everything about our worth, turning every challenge into evidence that we're not whole. One empowers us to serve, the other paralyzes us and makes our energy a drain.

We can take full responsibility for how our actions shape the people, places, and things around us, knowing we're doing our best and continuing to grow to our best. We can care deeply about our impact without collapsing into shame when things are hard. Responsibility says, ‘What can I do differently?’ Taking it personally means, 'What's wrong with me?’ Only one of these questions leads somewhere useful.

What would change if you took full responsibility without taking it personally?

Fulfillment isn't found in accumulation. It lives in circulation.

If you want to be fulfilled, you need to practice what you teach, and you need to teach what you practice. These aren't separate paths; they're one complete cycle.

We understand that we need to practice what we teach or preach. We know we can't authentically share something we haven't lived. People sense this disconnect.

What we may be missing, if we want that extra happiness boost, is that teaching what we practice is just as essential. When something works for us and transforms our experience, we have the opportunity to share it. This type of sharing doesn’t come from obligation. It comes from generosity and completes the cycle.

The only way we can really teach is through demonstration and invitation. As Fred Rogers says, attitudes aren’t taught; they’re caught. When we practice what matters to us and share it without attachment, we can inspire by example. This is teaching because it isn’t forcing, ordering, or telling, which aren’t helpful for anyone.

Both sides matter. Practicing without sharing keeps us small. Sharing without practicing feels stressful. The contribution cycle completes itself through both.

What are you practicing that you'd like to share? What are you teaching that needs deeper practice?

The sensations of intensity we feel from stress, whether good or bad stress, physical or emotional, are simply signs for us to choose to soften and embrace what is happening. These sensations are invitations to become channels for all of the experiences we are meant to experience as humans, letting them flow through us rather than bracing against them.

When we soften and embrace, we gain the power to co-create with life instead of push against it and suffer. We waste so much energy thinking things should be different, when our job is simply to accept them as they are and be a tiny part of their evolution through loving them, rather than controlling them and trying to constrain them.

Intensity isn't the enemy, it is actually our truthful friend. The belief that we should resist intensity is the enemy. Every sensation is life moving through you, asking you to open rather than clench, to allow rather than fight. This is how we participate in our own lives without exhausting ourselves trying to manage them. This is peace and joy.

What would open up within you if you stopped resisting what is meant to flow through you?

It all had to happen this way. Every choice you made, every mistake you think you made, every detour, every loss, every moment you wish you could take back. It all had to happen exactly as it did to bring you here. And this is true not just for you. It is true for all of us collectively.

Life is imperfect, and everything is interconnected. There are so many things at play beyond what we can understand and what we prefer. We all ended up here on the planet and in our lives inheriting beliefs, patterns, and circumstances beyond our control. We are learning every day, and we did our best with what we had. There is no other way it could have been up until this point, and we can continue to evolve together.

This isn't about making peace with a disappointing past, pretending horrific things aren’t happening, or avoiding responsibility for ourselves. This is about freeing us up from regret and shoulds so we can be clear about who we need to be right now. If we are willing, we can have a total, joyful acceptance of life, which is the only thing that gives us the freedom to create from right here. We are fully prepared for what we are meant to do and the difference we are meant to make if we let go of needing to know what the whole plan is. And this is always the case. We simply need to attune to it.

When we stop arguing with how we got here, we can finally be here. Being here, fully embracing the imperfection that has shaped us and will continue to shape us, is where our real power resides. Our minds may never fully understand why things happen the way they do, yet our hearts intuit that there is something bigger at play.

What becomes possible if you consider that it all had to happen this way?

Today is a brand new day. Making just the tiniest change can change absolutely everything. If there's an area where you're feeling stuck, sad, frustrated, anxious, or disappointed, you can consciously choose to start fresh in that area today.

It doesn't need to be perfect. It doesn't need to be the way it would have been if you started twenty years ago. Making a tiny change starting today could change everything, and you have no idea what those changes could be or their depth. Yet you do need to start for something to happen.

Today is a perfect day for things to start and for you to truly focus on the thing that you know you want to focus on. When we start fresh, we get to carry forward the learnings and the blessings while simultaneously releasing the heaviness. You are free to grow.

What tiny change will you make today to start fresh?

We've been taught that taking time to be inspired isn't productive. Yet without inspiration, we're not creating anything new. We're just consuming and reproducing what already exists.

Actual productivity comes from being inspired. The walk in nature, the music, the conversation that lights you up isn't separate from your work. It's the very thing that makes your work worth doing and gives it its life force. Inspiration isn't a luxury we indulge in after we finish the real work. Inspiration is a discipline.

When we create from our highest place, we bring something into the world that hasn't existed before, and bring more abundance and meaning into the world. That's the only “productivity” that matters. Everything else is just spinning wheels.

What inspires you that you've been treating as unproductive?

Freedom isn't about getting to do or have whatever you want, whenever you want. True freedom is having the intelligence to be yourself and express yourself while having fun moving towards what's important to you.

Most of us think freedom means no limits, no responsibilities, no consequences. We imagine it as endless choices and instant gratification. Yet this kind of freedom and the srtiving for it often leaves us feeling empty and directionless, robbing us of purpose and growth.

Real freedom comes from knowing who you are and having the courage to express that authentically in a dynamic way, in co-creation with others who may have different perspectives. It's the joy of discovering the journey toward what matters to you. It's being free from the need to prove anything to anyone while being free to contribute by being yourself.

What might change if you believed freedom wasn’t about what you were doing but who you were being?

Have the discipline to keep life simple before it becomes complicated, and all you want is for it to be simple again.

We have all been taught that we have to make life more complicated and flashy for it to be meaningful. This seems to involve achieving status roles, looking a certain way, having more stuff, and earning stuff to be happy in the future.

Yet, we make our lives too complicated and then try to pay to make them simpler. We pay to unplug from work and reconnect with ourselves, to spend time in nature and sunlight, to create life-giving relationships, and to take care of our bodies through exercise, healthy food, and good sleep. These are all things we can do on our own. Letting life become complicated and stressful is the easy thing to do, and allowing life to stay ease-filled and straightforward feels like the stressful thing to do these days.

Luckily, we can use our commitment and creativity to author a new way. We can let go of looking perfect so we can enjoy what is real.

What simple thing could you do today that you've been making complicated?

Mistakes aren't real. We have no idea how things will work out or “should” work out. We label something a mistake based on our imagined and preferred version of how life was supposed to go, yet our predicting mind is not the ultimate authority of the universe.

Our belief in mistakes gives us a false sense of control. If we can make the right decisions, we think we'll be safe and whole. This belief keeps us small and afraid, constantly second-guessing instead of living fully right now, which is all there is.

What if our only mistake is believing in mistakes? What if every choice is simply another step in an unfolding we cannot see?

When you know you will act from your values, you can trust yourself and feel at ease about the future. Uneasiness about what's coming isn't really about the unknown. It's about not trusting yourself to handle whatever arrives. When you're clear on your values and committed to acting from them no matter what, the future loses its power to frighten you.

You don't need to know what will happen. You only need to know who you'll be when it does. That's the foundation of peace.

What if the ease you're looking for comes from trusting yourself, not from controlling what's ahead?

To truly have abundance, we must enjoy what we have, not just have it. It doesn't matter what we have if we don't cultivate the skills and discipline to enjoy it. Most of us spend our lives earning and accumulating more, yet we never develop the capacity to relish what's already here while we are alive.

Enjoyment and gratitude are abundance, not having. We all know we can have everything and feel empty, or have little and feel rich. It is just a matter of whether we are willing to remember. The difference isn't in what we possess, it's in our ability to be here in the wonder of life. Abundance is a presence, not a destination.

What if you practiced enjoying what you already have and let the more come second if you still want it?

People already know that they are flawed and feel badly enough about it, and by people, I mean you and I.

People never do better by feeling worse. They do better when they feel better. This is why in our relationships, including our relationship with ourselves, our most important contribution is to provide a loving space for people to have compassion for themselves and shift their focus from their “flaws” to their gifts.

What might change for you and those around you if you were willing to practice doing the intense work of loving people instead of criticizing them?

Is it possible that beating yourself up for things that you think you should be better at is keeping you from stepping into your unique purpose?

I sense that the universe, or our higher power, or whatever created us, would not make it difficult to share what we are meant to share. Our work is to start taking responsibility for our lives by being grateful for what our strengths are and focusing on empowering them.

Comparison, resistance, and judgment all disconnect us from our most vital energy and contribution.

What if you weren’t meant to do it the way someone else does it or the way some imaginary version of yourself would do it? What if you are simply supposed to strengthen your strengths?

Life comes in pairs of opposites: hot and cold, joy and sorrow, anger and peace. These aren’t battles to fight. They are opportunities to see how simple wholeness is.

When we feel anger, it can feel sharp and consuming, yet beneath it is often hurt. When we pause long enough to be curious about it rather than react, anger eventually dissolves into compassion. This is the essence of wholeness. We don’t need to resist our anger if we can let it return us to compassion.

The same is true of other intense emotions: fear can dissolve into trust, restlessness can transform into stillness, and attachment can evolve into love. Our greatest power comes not from escaping feelings; it comes from allowing them to transform. Every sensation or feeling carries its own doorway home.

What if your only job was to be curious enough to let it dissolve into the truth?

It’s easier to compare yourself to other people than it is to take responsibility for your own contribution and impact.

The thing is, your contribution and impact won’t look like anybody else’s. There’s no way they could. But if you waste your time pretending they should, you miss the opportunity to contribute to the person, the people, the places, and the things in front of you right now.

Where have you been letting comparison hide your contribution?

Taking the time to be curious slows us down, which we need to do so that we can discover the root causes of our challenges and the authentic sources of our blessings.

Taking the time to be curious also helps us move more quickly in the long run because we don’t waste time solving the wrong problems and overlooking our resources.

Where have you been rushing to an answer instead of being curious, and how has that rushing impeded your progress?

We either transform through experiencing the pain of what doesn’t work or through being brave enough to experience the vitality and beauty of what does work.

The good news is, we can transform either way. And, our work is to lean more into the beautiful way.

Where could you let love lead you towards transformation rather than waiting for hardship?