Life knows what it's doing, even when we don't. We can't predict what we need to learn or how we'll learn to love more deeply. The only choice we have is whether to welcome what arrives or fight it.

Everything that comes your way is a doorway to expansion. Not just the beautiful moments, yet also the losses, the failures, the relationships that fall apart, the plans that crumble. These aren't detours from your path. They are the path.

Resistance keeps us stuck in who we've been. Welcoming what is lets us become who we're meant to be. This doesn't mean forcing gratitude for pain. It means trusting that even in confusion, life is working on your behalf.

What if the challenge in front of you is the exact medicine you need to become who you are meant to become?

Your power and intelligence are activated by surrender. You lose power when you resist, judge, or blame circumstances, yourself, or anyone else.

When you surrender to the mystery of life and the uncontrollable nature with which it unfolds, with all of us learning as we go, you get access to the only kind of power you need and the only kind of power there really is. The power to know what to do to the best of your ability in this very moment.

We think control gives us power, yet trying to grip to something we cannot weakens us. Surrender isn't giving up. It's giving in to what already is so you can work with it, and let it work with you, helping you grow in ways you could never have planned.

What would become available if you stopped resisting and surrendered to this life exactly as it is in this moment?

When someone is struggling, let their challenges help you love them more. You can imagine how hard it is for them. Let this expand your love rather than contract it.

This applies to people you naturally care about and to people you don’t. We often do the opposite. We pull away from people’s pain, get frustrated by their patterns, make their struggles about our discomfort. Yet their hardest moments are invitations to love bigger, whether we feel close to them or not. And, we can love people boldly whether we keep them close or use a little space as a boundary.

Real love isn’t just for the easy times when everyone is shining, or just for the people we already adore. It’s for the messy times when we all need each other most. It’s for everyone.

Who needs your love to expand right now?

When you need to show up as a bigger person in one area of your life, practice showing up bigger in everything you engage with. We cannot compartmentalize. Who you are somewhere is who you are everywhere.

Sometimes it feels like we need to abandon other things to focus on what is most important. Yet the opposite is true. A rising tide raises all ships. When you show up bigger everywhere, you lift everything in your life.

This is good news. Every moment becomes practice. The conversation with the barista, the email you're writing, the task in front of you right now. Each one is an opportunity to build the capacity to show up powerfully when it matters most.

Love your most important thing enough to treat everything like it is important. This is how you become the person you want to be.

Where could you practice showing up bigger today?

Your body is designed to feel, and it can lead you in ways your mind cannot. Instead of going into a conversation or moving into your day from what you already know, let your body lead you toward the way you want to feel.

Your mind tries to create safety by predicting. It tells you how the conversation will go based on how it’s gone before, how the day will unfold based on yesterday’s patterns. This keeps you stuck in what you know rather than open to what’s possible.

If what you want to feel is more connection, ease, authenticity, and power, your body actually knows how to create this. You just have to be willing to let go of what you know and come from what you want to feel instead. When you generate that feeling in your body now, your mind will follow suit and see what there is to do differently.

Your body holds the wisdom. Your mind holds the stories. Let the wisdom lead.

What do you want to feel today that you’ve been overriding with what you know?

If you are able to please everybody, then you are lying to yourself or somebody else. The most foundational aspect of leadership is telling the truth, which means someone will inevitably be displeased.

Truth creates clarity. It builds trust and creates change. When we tell the truth, we give others permission to do the same, and that’s where authentic power lives. Yes, truth might disappoint some people or create friction, yet it more importantly attracts the correct people and repels the incorrect ones.

You can’t lead and make everyone happy. Choose truth, and watch how it frees you and everyone around you.

Where could leading from the truth create more freedom in your life?

Adaptability is one of the signatures of joy. When we can work with, or even better, play with, whatever comes our way, we get to have a more joyful, rich, present, miraculous life.

Joy doesn’t come as a direct result of things going our way. The belief that it does sets us up for constant disappointment because life rarely cooperates exactly as we wish it would. We spend our energy resisting what is, arguing with reality, and wondering why we feel unhappy.

The people who experience the most joy aren't the ones with the easiest lives. They're the ones who have developed the capacity to adapt, to pivot, play, and find the gift in whatever shows up. This is problematic for our minds because they want guarantees and control. Yet it's liberating for our lives because we no longer need everything to be perfect to feel good.

This existence is a miracle. We miss the miracle when we insist there is one right way and that our minds know it, and the universe doesn’t.

How might being more adaptable allow you to experience more joy?

Loving ourselves means we do the most valuable thing first, which is usually the thing we resist the most. If it feels hard, that is likely because it has extraordinary potential to change your life.

We all know what matters. Yet we avoid it, lower it on the to-do list, or make excuses because it's uncomfortable, uncertain, or requires us to feel vulnerable. This is problematic because every time we choose comfort over what's valuable, we tarnish our relationship with ourselves a little more.

The solution is to do it now or as quickly as you can. Notice how you feel when it's done. That relief, that pride, that aliveness is what self-love actually feels like. Fear grows over time and self-esteem and increases with momentum.

What valuable thing are you resisting right now?

If people are complaining, it means there is a growth opportunity.

People only complain when something they care about feels uncertain, which means it's changing. Change is how we grow.

What if you used your own complaint and the complaints of others as an invitation to move into a growth conversation?

Clarity is scary because it cuts off all the lesser, mediocre options you might settle for.

Mediocrity feels easy because it barely has any obstacles involved and won’t bring up your fear and doubt in the same way as moving towards what you truly want. And even though clarity may feel riskier than mediocrity, settling for something “okay” is actually riskier than going for something great because, in doing so, you guarantee you will never get what you deeply want.

Not only will your clarity increase the likelihood that you get what you want, but you will also get so much stronger in the process of moving towards it, and it is a net win either way.

How would your life change if you chose the courage to be clear?

No one else can ensure you get the support you need, so if you want to have your most fulfilled, vibrant life today instead of later or never, make a vow to yourself to create a life where you are supported, whether or not anyone else understands or gives you permission.

Your sleep, your diet, your sunlight, your music, your emotional support people, your quiet time, your creativity, your highest contribution…. all of these things require that you take responsibility for them. Of course, taking responsibility for these things includes your willingness to make requests and collaborate with others, and be creative in doing so. Just because you are responsible for it doesn’t mean you have to do it alone.

What if you took responsibility for having the support you need?

What if your body knows when to fall and when to fail so you can grow? What if each falter or failure you have experienced were all a beautiful, essential part of your becoming that your mind couldn’t have known to choose?

What if today, you chose to be grateful for all of it, as part of a greater intelligence you get to be a part of?

You might not need to change your mind. You might need to change the state of your body.

If you are feeling grumpy, stuck, or down, you may just need to get your heart pumping, get some sunlight, get your body moving, take a shower, take a nap, drink some water, get some protein, or get a hug. When used well, these things aren’t distractions from the real work,t hey are the work.

We've been taught to handle things from the neck, up. If we can just strategize harder, plan better, or experience mental certainty or superiority, we will finally be happy. Howeverm your body is where you actually live right now. When your body is depleted, stressed, or stuck, your mind will reflect that. You can't think your way out of a state that your body is asking you to shift.

Before you try to use your thoughts to out-think your thoughts, try taking care of your body and see what you see differently. Sometimes the answer isn't an answer, it’s a physical state change.

What would shift in your life if you made a practice of shifting your body?

Let people disagree with you, because most of them will. There are 8 billion people out there, in addition to you, and each has a different life experience, unique situation, and perspective. The odds that most of them would agree with you are basically nonexistent.

We exhaust ourselves trying to convince people that we are right or trying to get people to see things our way. Or, we exhaust ourselves by holding back out of the fear that people won’t agree. Yet this focus on agreement doesn’t create connection.

Instead of believing that others agreeing with you is success, try believing that providing people with a starting point for a conversation is success. Even better, take responsibility for staying open so a conversation can actually happen. Real co-creation requires us to be willing to change our minds, not just to try to change theirs.

After all, what are the odds that out of 8 billion people, you are the only one who is right? When we grip our rightness that tightly, we lose access to learning, connection, and growth.

What would open up if you stopped going for agreement?

Sometimes in order to achieveve something you want, you have to do nothing. This sounds backwards, yet it's often the most powerful choice we can make.

In order be in loving relationships, we need to let people be as they are. In order to be at peace in the world, we need to accept things will always be changing and allow change to happen. This doesn't mean we shouldn't take action when it is our responsibility, and it means we must learn to distinguish between action and reaction.

Reactions don’t support what we really want. We do something because the discomfort of doing nothing feels unbearable, or because we are addicted to a certain pattern, not because action aligns with our values. We try to fix, manage, control, all in the name of an outcome, when really we're just trying to ease our own discomfort.

Sometimes it is important to stop sitting there and do something. Sometimes it is essential to not do something and to just sit there. Knowing the difference is wisdom.

What would happen if you did nothing where you feel you need to fix right now?

Committing to getting things complete helps us in so many ways. It helps us get creative when the solution isn't obvious. It helps us have the courage to have the conversation we would otherwise put off. It puts us face-to-face with our power to create and contribute, which can be confronting.

It helps us build resilience as we will inevitably experience insecurity, failure, and feedback when we put ourselves out there. This is where many of us stop. We hit discomfort or a belief in lack and turn it into evidence that completion isn't for us or isn’t possible. Yet, pressing through to completion is exactly what builds helps us build the capacity to handle what we feel like we must avoid.

Committing to getting complete helps us realize that we are already inherently complete, and that there is nothing we need to avoid. We can complete things not because we're incomplete, yet because we're powerful enough to hold space for anything and see things through. This is true for work, relationships, goals, messes at home, and everything else.

What are you avoiding completing that wants to show you how powerful you are?

You will never change in the way you want by blaming someone else. You will also never change the other person in the way you want by blaming them. No one wins when you blame.

Blame keeps us stuck. It gives us the temporary relief of feeling right while robbing us of any real power to create change. We get to point the finger, yet we stay exactly where we are. They also stay exactly where they are, and nothing moves.

Instead of blaming, choose to take responsibility and help make it better, or choose to walk away. These are your only two useful options for creating the change you actually seek. Everything else is just a place to hide.

What would you do differently today if blaming wasn't an option?

Every time you interact with someone is an opportunity to make a positive difference. You have so many opportunities today. Really seeing them, checking in with them, smiling at them, hearing them. With some of the disconnection we experience today, even simply not being avoidant, rude, distant, or self-focused is a gift to someone else.

We underestimate these moments. We think making a difference requires grand gestures, big platforms, and significant resources. Yet the person in front of you right now is your opportunity. The cashier, the colleague, the family member you've stopped really looking at. Each interaction is a choice to contribute or be a drain. Why not choose to contribute?

Of course, making a difference isn't just for others. When we choose to see others, we feel better. When we choose presence over self-absorption, we feel more alive. This is how contribution works. It elevates everything.

With each moment you have to make a difference for others today, why wouldn't you?

Your superpower will often feel weird because it is different from others'. Your job is to own what feels weird, unique, outstanding, and even uncomfortable in you so you can give your gift to the world.

Your job is also to celebrate what others' superpowers are, even when they are unfamiliar to you. You need people to do things that are different from you, just like they need you to be different from them. We're not supposed to all be the same. That would be useless.

What feels weird in you might be exactly what the world needs. Stop trying to smooth out your edges to fit in. Those edges are where your power lives.

What superpower you have you been trying to assimilate?

We don't get stronger from doing one pushup. We don't become a leading expert through reading one book. Our teeth don't stay clean after brushing them once. Anything we want to develop takes consistency, and shifting our attention to what is good, what we are grateful for, and the blessings all around us is just as much of a practice as anything else.

We don't think teeth brushing isn't working because we have bad breath in the morning. We brush our teeth again. To remain physically strong, we must continue to put in our reps at the gym. If we want to experience gratitude and happiness, we must choose it consistently, again and again, moment by moment.

Happiness and gratitude aren't necessarily easy, yet they are simple if we are willing to do the work again and again and again. One moment of choosing gratitude won't transform your life. Ten thousand moments will.

What would change if you practiced gratitude with the same consistency as you pick up your phone?