The clarity to hold space

We are designed to support one another by being a clear space for one another.

When we show up for others with our own agendas, opinions, fears, doubts, or resentments, we don’t help anyone. We often think we are “helping” people by shaming them, telling them what to do, sharing our opinions with them, judging them, showing them how they are wrong, or showing them how we are right. The truth is, all this does is make them feel bad, and no one makes good choices when they feel bad. They make good choices when they feel good. Even worse, we feel bad when we make others feel bad, even if we don’t realize it at first.

Our job is instead to show up with clarity to whomever we are with or aiming to serve. We can do this by recognizing any of the above-mentioned heaviness or cloudiness we may be bringing into a moment and consciously choosing to set it aside. We can listen with curiosity and ask clarifying questions that aren’t about fully understanding or agreeing with the other person, but about the other person learning whatever it is they are meant to learn, which we can never fully know. All we can do is hold space for people to continue to discover new things as they evolve and love them and ourselves through the imperfection.

When we can clarify our intentions, ground ourselves in the moment, and hold space for discovery over the long haul, we all blossom.

Where might it be time to stop forcing and start clearing?