Here's what I've noticed: Some of us follow every rule to feel worthy. Others rebel against them for the same reason.

The rule-followers judge the rule-breakers. The rule-breakers judge the rule-followers. We make others wrong because it temporarily makes us feel right.

Yet life opens up when we catch ourselves in this dance. When we notice how desperately we're trying to prove our worth by what we do or don't do, by monitoring what others do or don't do.

The truth is, we're all just trying to feel okay about ourselves.

Once you see this pattern, you have a choice. You can keep playing the validation game, or you can do the uncomfortable, more rewarding work of resting in your worth from within. Not from following someone else's rules, nor from rebelling against them.

From this grounded place, you're free to choose what serves you and others best, rather than letting fear or the need to be right run the show.

Where might it be time to let go of someone else's rules and discover what's truly best for you?

People often think they resonate with someone because of their success, but that is rarely the reason. What truly creates connection is the willingness to be seen in “failure.”

We admire strength, but we connect through struggle, and struggle is what creates strength. The resonance does not come from perfection—it comes from someone’s courage to keep going and to tell the truth about where they’ve been.

What if the thing you’ve been yearning for but haven been able to put your finger on is the resilience that’s born through not having it go your way?

Prioritizing the most important thing, which is usually the thing with the most critical problems, makes everything else easier.

If the most important thing has unresolved issues, it will seep into every area of your life and make it all harder.

Sometimes, prioritizing what is essential feels too time-consuming, but it always gives you your time back in the long run.

What is it time to invest your attention into now to make the correct space for everything else down the line?  It might not be what you think. 

You have been tricked into believing you need to do something with every thought you have, and that you can rest once your thoughts are all positive, peaceful, and validating.

Your true power comes from knowing none of your thoughts are the “truth” and being incredibly selective about the ones you value and prioritize.

What might happen if you shift your attention to doing nothing with most thoughts instead of believing and managing them? 

Your job is to know who you are- to know what you value and to trust yourself to act from those values.

When you know who you are, you don’t need anyone else to know who you are.

What if your confidence came from demonstrating your values to yourself over time? 

We reject ourselves and others for being imperfect, when it is this imperfection that makes us human.

Humanity is a PhD in unconditional love if we let it be. This is the gift of our lives- to feel compassion, empathy, and connection. This doesn’t mean we give ourselves a free pass to abdicate our responsibilities; it means we embrace the grace that can help us progress as a species.

What if instead of rejecting ourselves and one another, we protected ourselves and one another with unconditional love?

If you feel like you love people more than they love you, that's okay. It likely means you've done more work to love yourself than they have.

Just as we can only love others as much as we love ourselves, others can only love us as much as they love themselves.

What if it wasn't that they didn't love you? What if they're still learning to love themselves?

Rarity doesn't equal value.

We tell ourselves that achieving something difficult or rare will make us valuable. But our worth isn't tied to what we get— it's already there, waiting to be remembered. And often, we only remember this after we have sacrificed so much to get somewhere we didn’t need to go.

If you're going to chase something rare, make sure it's actually worth your time. Want it if you choose, but remember: you don't need it to be enough.

What if you chose from a place of contribution rather than from a place of proving?

Having a purpose doesn’t make problems go away; it draws them in. And this is a good thing.

As you work toward a vision or a mission, the most important thing you will deal with is the obstacles that prevent that vision from already being a reality. The beauty of working toward a bigger, chosen purpose is that you get to work on bigger, chosen problems. Not meaning you get to choose precisely what issues arise, but meaning the solutions you work on are a part of your fulfillment and the fulfillment of your mission.

There would be no mission necessary if there were no problems. For right now, where we are in our evolution, embracing the problems is the path.

How could loving your mission help you appreciate problems more?

You need to love your mission and your purpose (if you want to be happy).

What you do will change. What you are working for doesn’t need to.

What if you gave up needing to love the doing, and focused on loving what you are doing it for?

People don’t need fixing, they need love.

Especially when it feels like you need to solve something for someone by erasing their unerasable discomfort, consider choosing to love them instead. Maybe they don’t need to know that everything is ok. Perhaps they don’t need to know how wrong you think they are or how they could do it better. Your need to fix is about you, not about them.

Consider that they don’t need advice, correction, or new information. To truly serve, what would happen if you said “I love you” instead?

There will absolutely always be reasons not to do what your heart wants. They aren’t the truth, though- they are only reasons, which are just ideas.

Life is short, and then all the reasons and ideas that filled it disappear.

What would you focus on and how would you show up today if all of your reasons weren’t the truth?

I have never met anybody who said they want to become more judgmental. We know intrinsically that judging others doesn’t make us feel good. Yet, most people spend a considerable amount of their time judging others instead of taking responsibility for themselves, because it is easier. To take responsibility for ourselves means letting go of judgment and choosing curiosity, compassion, empathy, and discernment instead. This ultimately shifts that discernment back to ourselves, allowing us to live lives we love, rather than wishing others would live lives we love.

If you want to live a happier life, notice when you allocate your precious energy to judging and mentally managing someone else. Then use that extraordinary moment of awareness to return to your only responsibility: yourself.

Your intention is the foundation of your energy field. It shapes how you show up, how others experience you, and what you attract into your life. Every action you take carries the vibration of the intention behind it. People feel it even if they can’t explain it, and your intention becomes your reputation. It either creates and welcomes opportunities, relationships, and experiences you want, or it pushes them away.

If you aren’t feeling like yourself or attracting what you want, cross-check your intention. Often, fear or doubt has crept in and repurposed you with an intention you wouldn’t choose for yourself if you were free. Notice if you are acting from resistance, attachment, scarcity, or the need to prove something. If so, release the reactive agenda and realign with what is most important to you to reconnect with your essence and wisdom.

You are always making a difference one way or another. You can return to your clearest intention as many times a day, hour, or minute as you need to.

Is your intention in this moment on purpose, or have you been repurposed?

A healthy, meaningful life is not about how little you can live with. It is about how abundantly you can take care of yourself. Real change begins when you shift from a mindset of deprivation to one of joyful generosity with yourself.

For example, focus on eating enough protein to support your strength, rather than depriving yourself of calories. Focus on doing more things that bring you joy and aliveness, rather than eliminating alcohol or scrolling. Transformation becomes sustainable when it is built from fullness, not from lack.

The question is not always what you need to remove to become more vibrant—it is what you are willing to receive.

Where is it time do focus on gifting yourself more, rather than dealing with less?

Everyone is used to their own kind of hard. For some of us, it is the intensity of athletic training or the discipline of staying in a creative process. For others of us, it is the suffering that comes from enduring the stress of resisting life and not taking action toward our potential. All of these things are hard, and you get better at tolerating the challenge of the thing you practice.

This is good news because you are already great at something challenging, and if you can adapt to one kind of difficulty, you can also adapt to another. We are all better at tolerating difficult experiences than we think we are.

What if the new thing isn’t any harder than what you are accustomed to? What if it were just new?

Nothing has the possibility of growing without first making itself vulnerable. Seeds take a risk as they break open, hoping to germinate. Our muscles must work to the point of failure to repair and regrow stronger. The most important conversations must begin before the outcome is known.

Your growth requires risk; a willingness to step into the unknown without certainty or a guarantee about how things will unfold. Do not confuse the sensations of vulnerability that arise in this space with weakness. These are the sensations of a new type of strength emerging.

As you grow, you will feel exposed. This means something transformational is possible.

How would you treat vulnerability if it were not a sign to stop, but the key ingredient for your growth?

Staying the course is actually a masterclass in change. This may sound contradictory, yet it is the way commitment works. When you stay with something long enough to go deep, make an impact, and be impacted, it will require you to evolve. You will be forced to outgrow your old habits, question your most comforting limitations, and cultivate the skills to create what you’re committed to.

You cannot hold onto what is familiar while going deep. Staying the course is actively allowing change. You remain steadfast in your chosen direction, yet you continue to become the stronger version of you who can go the distance, and you find people who can walk the path with you.

The more you commit, the more you will be asked to soften and adapt. Staying the course is not about being rigid; it's about being committed. It’s about being so devoted to what matters that you’re willing to never stop evolving.

When you do something you are genuinely proud of, even if it feels scary, your body will settle. Enough so that you can release the need to explain, prove, or defend. This is how you know you are in alignment with what is most important to you. This healthy pride in yourself is enough to know you are acting from the truth, and you don’t need anyone else to agree with it to make it the truth.

On the other hand, the urge to defend yourself often signals a misalignment with your values. As you lead your life, practice seeking out the feelings of healthy pride and discerning them from the sensations of proving and defending.

What might life feel like if you took actions that you never needed to defend, even if people were offended?

When you create with positivity, strength, or excellence, expect to be resisted. Hurt or angry people often resist joy because it threatens their status quo. In the same way, people with a weak mindset resist strength, and those with a mediocre mindset resist excellence. We don’t need to judge this; we need to know to expect it as a natural reaction. When we understand the pattern, we can stop taking it personally or as a sign that what we are creating isn’t valuable.

If you are creating something meaningful, it will evoke a response in others. Let the “good” and the “bad” be a sign that you are doing something that matters.

Where is it time to celebrate pushback?